I’m sure we all have made sacrifices in our lives. In fact with every choice, there’s likely some sort of sacrifice.

But I am not a fan of martyrdom.

I made a choice to move from NYC to a house when my first child grew out of her closet. I thought I could continue my thriving acting career, and I did. Even though while I was pregnant my agent left and started her own agency, I continued to work on SNL and work at regional theatres, continued to audition even if it meant I’d have to bring my daughter with me. To be honest, I love auditions, so bringing her to an audition was not a sacrifice, but a little adventure instead.

When my I found out I was pregnant again, I was on a National Tour of “Applause” headed for Broadway. The show never came in - too dated, whatever - and I celebrated 6 years of continued theatre, film and TV work as I took a “maternity leave” from auditions.

But with 2 children, getting to an audition became VERY challenging. Plus, the younger child needed extra attention. The older was approaching puberty. I stayed home and refocused my stifled, pent up energy on a fuzzy yellow ball and started playing tennis competitively in clubs.

What I found was all the women I played with - and against - were highly competitive, smart, accomplished people who had chosen to put their careers on the back burner to raise their kids.

After one disappointing match loss, a seasoned tennis player said to me, “There are three reasons these women play tennis:

they love competitive sports.
they want challenging fun exercise.
they need a consuming distraction from the life they gave up to continue to feel alive.
This last group is perhaps the most volatile, intense and sometimes hurtful.”

Nancy Burke, the author of ONLY THE WOMEN ARE BURNING, knows all three of these types and portrays them beautifully in this compelling book. There are few men I’ve encountered who can empathize with these women’s plight, their frame of mind. Her main character, Cassandra Taylor, confronts these men and women with a simultaneously scientific analytical point of view as well as a brilliant loving mother’s caring point of view.

I so admire the way Cassandra compartmentalizes information yet keeps on course as she calmly manages her older daughter’s growing teenage independence, admires and respects her younger twins’ passions and joys, maintains dignity while living in the same town has her 2 distant disconnected sisters, takes a real look at how she feels about a husband who travels 75% of the time, AND deciphers the possible causes of the women’s flaming deaths.

Narrating this book, which is set in the same town I raised my kids in surrounded by very similar anxious competitive women, was as much cathartic as it was consuming and entertaining.

Today the audiobook was released to the public. I am truly fascinated to see if other women feel the resonance the way I did. I imagine this a brilliant book for a book group.

Please, if you listen to or read this book, write a review on Audible or Amazon or wherever you purchased your copy.